1:30am thoughts

Hiya, I’m Bojan, and at the tender age of 21 I have realised that I live with a lot of regret but just like with everything, there is no time like the present! So I’m just expressing myself with no filter because, why not. Trying to live in the moment and live for the future. Hopefully what I write helps someone, somewhere! 


It is 1.30 am and I find myself stressing about life itself due to stupid decisions I have made. Honestly, if I were to go back in time I would never have gone to university which is a shock for most people but looking at it now, university has been one big stress on my life, both from a physical and mental toll to stress both from social and family relations. Not to say that it was all for nothing, you gain perfectly good life experience from being at uni, learning how to live away from family and learning how to be a human being, what I lost on the way was the emotion behind it all.

I don't think there was a single thing I haven't argued with my mum, dad or brother about, be it education, money, food, training, social life and so on. Travelling to and from home weekly always seemed to be an issue for me, but in my third year being able to leave the "bubble" which Loughborough is known for, gives me so much breathing space. Not having to put on a facade and not having to see people, but instead going home to the family just made me feel so relaxed, sure there were tons of arguments, but which family doesn't have that?

I could honestly say I felt better being in a house with just my dad and myself compared to living in a student accommodation with people my age who had their own problems in life yet seemed to enjoy the one thing I care not to partake in, going out. I have had some backlash from my parents about this as I would rather stay at home on a Friday night than go out and party the night away, but with a bit of persistence from them I end up agreeing to go, and if I don't enjoy the location nor the event I can always go home. The same can be said about university, yet there is always that element of getting tipsy or even completely drunk at pre-drinks prior to even stepping out of the flat where you are located, then waiting in a queue to go into a club where you have even more people who left their nest to "go to" university, and then you proceed with the usual "uni" experience on a night and wake up the next day ready for the same thing again. My parents would firstly never allow me to get stupidly drunk nor would they ever let me go out two nights in a row, teaching me moderation of everything in life, which is not taught anywhere else.

If I was to be honest, looking back at my time at uni, I have learned many things, done many things, both good and bad, yet I will never take it away from my family, that if they were not who they are, I may not be the person I am now. Sure, I need improving in a lot of aspects of my life and character, but every day brings a new learning experience and mistakes from the past are lessons for the future.

Thanks for reading,
Bojan


For more of Bojan's blogs please visit: https://bojansjourney.blogspot.com/